Kokkuri Angels
by Besarki
Summary: Crack Fic. Hana wasn't looking for it, nor was he expecting it, but when he saw a title sequence, there was little he could do to keep from bursting out laughing. Loosely based on Takei's side-series, Kokkuri Angel Cupid Tamao. YohAnnaHana
1. Introduction

Besarki: XD I got this idea from a really weird conversation I had with Smart Angel about Jeanne (MONTHS ago). And so...I present you with this...the crackiest crack fic I have ever written...ha...god...

Pairings (All Implied, except for the first one, which is shown and will have some serious Anna vs. Tamao beat down in the show):  
YohxAnna  
YohAnnaHana  
RenxJeanne  
RenJeanneMen

Notes:  
---This story does not follow the timeline that Takei set up for his mini-series.  
---Mysterious-Patch-Girl is Anna III. She is not named in the story for various reasons. As far as I know, the prologue (this chapter) is her only appearance.  
---The show's Tamao will be referred to only as Tamao-chan. Likewise, the show's Anna and Jeanne will be addressed as Anna-san and Jeanne-sama. The Tamao, Anna, and Jeanne watching the show will never be addressed with honorifics.  
---This fic will be very low on my focus list. It's going to be my writer's block story (what I write when I can't think of what to write next for my Main Project) or the story I write when I'm in an abnormally good mood or just feel like writing something funny.  
---Every chapter following this will feature an episode. This is the introduction so it doesn't actually have one. In most cases, Anna, Tamao, and Jeanne (all adults at this point) will comment on the episode after it ends, though the cracky part will be the episode itself. (Episode 1 is titled _Stop That Pompadour!_ Need I say more?)

Disclaimer: Shaman King and all related elements belong to Takei Hiroyuki and Shueisha.

* * *

**Kokkuri Angels: Prologue/Introduction**

In the center of a rather tightly fit family room, a little boy's blond head poked out from underneath a covered table. In his left hand was an old black remote, and in his right, a bag of potato chips.

The boy was Asakura Hana, the six year-old son of Asakura Yoh and Asakura Anna.

Today was his uncle's/ancestor's/Shaman King's original birthday, and for some reason, his father Yoh found this to be the perfect reason to celebrate, though, really, every day seemed an ample opportunity to celebrate when the planner was Asakura Yoh, but then, that was beside the point.

Every single one of his parent's friends and acquaintances was invited, their children included. Though, _children_ was a loose term, as, besides Hana, there were only two of them: Silva's daughter who absolutely point-blank refused to give them her name and the Tao's son, Men. Unfortunately, Mysterious-Patch-Girl and Men didn't know an ounce of Japanese, which left poor Hana bored out of his mind.

Luckily, he wasn't alone.

"Hana," Someone greeted dully. Hana peered up disinterestedly to see his mother walking into the room.

"Kaa-chan," He returned. He had seen his mother last about an hour ago, and she had looked just as bored as he did. She wasn't the partying type either.

"Anything on?" She asked.

Hana glanced at the television in front of him. He hadn't really been watching it, just flipping through the channels.

"Not really," He replied.

His mother sighed and sat down beside him. "Figures."

Just then, a cartoony Jeanne floated across the screen, her long hair billowing behind her. The name, _**JEANNE-SAMA!**_ popped up on the screen, the characters of the word surrounded by glittery effects.

"Jeanne's probably promoting something again," Anna mumbled. Hana shrugged.

"Doesn't really look like a commercial," He pointed out.

"Could be a new advertising technique," She guessed, checking over her fingernails.

While she was looking away, another character jumped into the picture beside Jeanne. Hana's jaw dropped.

"With you in it?" He gasped. Anna glanced up at the screen out of curiosity and a bit of confusion over his words. Her eyes went as wide as dinner plates.

Sure enough, there she was, a little cartoon Anna with purple flowers in her hair and little black ogres floating behind her. _**ANNA-SAN!**_ appeared beside her, pink and purple flower petals falling over the characters.

"NUH UH!" Hana yelled in excitement. He dropped the remote and chips and grabbed his mother's arm, pointing at the tv. "LOOK! IT'S YOU!"

Before she had any time to react, the words, **_TAMAO-CHAN!_** exploded across the screen, chasing "Anna-san" and "Jeanne-sama" off camera. A little Tamao squeezed in through one of the loops in the second character. A smaller version of Ponchi and Konchi snuck in on either side of her. All three of them suddenly made faces and squirmed away as a much bigger display came in and crushed the **_TAMAO-CHAN_** to pieces.

A second later, Tamao-chan, Anna-san, and Jeanne-sama tiptoed in and stood around the gigantic title.

_**KOKKURI ANGEL CUPID TAMAO!**_

Anna could only stare at the screen, stuttering with incomprehension. Hana, on the other hand, wore a smile three times bigger than his face.

"Oh...my...god!" He laughed. "Tou-chan, get in here quick!"

And that was the end of any extent of peace in Funbari Inn and Onsen.

* * *

Besarki: Groan. This is going to be ridiculous. More than anything, this is an exercise for me in writing characters I wouldn't normally write like Tamao and Jeanne. Anna is here as my crutch 'cause she's pretty easy for me to write. Yoh will be here a great deal too, 'cause he's just fun to write, and, of course, Hana. God forbid I ever write anything without _Hana_ in it. *Eye roll*

Next Chapter: Episode 1: Stop That Pompadour! Featuring Anna beating her head off the wall from the stupidity of it all!

...And this is why Besarki sticks with creative writing rather than screen writing.

The insanity starts next chapter! Woo!

...Wondering why the ending author's note is in the middle of the chapter? Does seem weird, doesn't it? Well, it actually _isn't._ Ready for this?

THIS. FANFIC. FEATURES. TWO. DIFFERENT. STORIES.

And here it is: another crack story. Since this is a character exercise, I'm going to practice with Chocolove and Horohoro too.

WARNING: DON'T READ THE FOLLOWING ONESHOT IF YOU'RE EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, **EXTREMELY** EASILY OFFENDED! (And Italian) I bear no ill-will towards Italians. I've been to Italy, and trust me, the Italians are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. (Speaking of which, big hug to Kumiho-Kitsune if she's still around) No harm is meant! I have no quarrels with anyone and this is all meant in harmless fun. LOVE AND PEACE! LOVE AND PEACE!

* * *

**The Leopard's Meow: Chapter 1: When it Rains, It Pours**

Horohoro wondered how he always got roped into this. Somehow, the other shamans always managed to get out of this--even Yoh who had the IQ of a piece of dog food. How was it that _he_, the amazing shaman from the north, _he_,the spectacular snowboarding genius, _he_, Horohoro, always got stuck listening to his American friend's unbearably _awful_ jokes?

Oh, right. Because Chocolove wasn't higher than blackmail. And when you were Usui Horokeu, there was, regrettably, a lot of blackmail-worthy material.

"This one is going to kill you!" Chocolove boasted.

Horohoro rolled his eyes. "Probably," He agreed, though for different reasons.

"Okay, ready? Knock knock!" The American shaman exclaimed, his face alight with an eager smile.

Horohoro stared at his friend with an expression of indescribable boredom. "...Who's there?" He asked with a sigh.

"Interrupting cow."

"Interrupting--"

"**MOO!**"

"You didn't even give me a chance to--"

"**MOOOOOOOOOOOO!**"

"BASTARD! LET ME FINISH!"

"Why?"

"Because--"

"**MOO!**"

"BASTARD! Forget it, I'm leaving!" Horohoro seethed, rising to his feet and turning towards the door.

"No! Wait, wait! I have a better one!"

"I seriously doubt it!"

"No, really! I told this one to Anna and she didn't even hit me!"

"She was probably sleeping. All of the Asakuras can sleep with their eyes open."

Chocolove glared. "Sit down or I'm telling Yoh that you're the one who broke the bottle opener."

"Ha! He won't care!"

"_And_ what you were doing with it to break it."

Gritting his teeth, Horohoro grudgingly sat back down. Chocolove smiled hugely.

"Okay, okay. How about this one: What do you call an Italian with a broken hand?"

Horohoro clenched his fist. "I have no idea, Chocolove."

Chocolove grinned. "A speech impediment!"

Mari _would_ be walking past at that very moment.


	2. Stop That Pompadour!

Besarki: I have to say, the reviews for this story are just flat-out hilarious. You probably don't mean to, but you all manage to make me laugh really, really hard. So, keep it up. :) Anyway, it's timeeeeeee for chapterrrrrr TWOOOOOOOO! ...After a ridiculously long author's note. I swear, I'm going to keep these long ass things to an absolute minimum, but do read them as they are, in most cases, important.

Upped the rating (because of minor swearing) just to be safe.

_The parts in italics are commentary by Anna, Tamao, and Jeanne that occurs before the episode ends. THIS IS RARE! It is very unusual for them to talk before the episode ends. However, if something irresistible pops up, then, well expect to see them._

The KZB Shaman Files spells Konchi's Kokurri Cupid Tamao name with a C, so _Conty._ In the actual Shaman King timeline, Konchi's name was spelled with both a C and a K (Conchi/Konchi), usually just depending on who was translating or the volume number. I prefer the K, because it just seems more like a name for a fox, crazy perverted or not. So, in this story, Tamao-chan's fox familiar will be Konty instead of Conty. There will be no change in Tamao-chan's tanuki familiar's name, Ponty.

Oh, and Smart Angel asked a very good question: "I'm wondering... Will you show Tamao and Anna's competition to get Yoh's heart, who in the show will probably be just this really nice guy with no clue they are in love with him? And will Horo-Horo and Ren and Lyserg also appear?"  
Answer: HELLS YEAH YOH WILL APPEAR AND BE AS CLUELESS AS ALWAYS! And come on, how could I not put the competition in? :D Horohoro, Lyserg, and Ren I'm not so sure about. We'll see if I can fit them into _Kokkuri Angels_, though all three of them most definitely appear in _The Leopard's Meow_.**  
**  
Anyway, my funny bone ain't working particularly well this week, so this chapter is kinda lame by my standards, but meh. What can you do? Half-assed attempt at humor it is. ^-^;

* * *

**Kokkuri Angels: Episode 1**

--------------------------------------------  
Episode 1: Stop That Pompadour!  
--------------------------------------------

The day started off as any other. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Kokkuri Angel Cupid Tamao-chan was relaxing in her meadow hideout with her partners Ponty and Konty. The world was at peace as Tamao-chan lay smiling pleasantly in her huge bean bag chair which threatened to grow teeth and gobble her up--

_Anna snorted. "Wouldn't that be convenient?"_

_Beside her, Tamao glared._

_"I think she meant '**ironic**,'" Jeanne interjected._

_Anna shook her head. "No, I meant convenient." At which Tamao countered with an even more baleful glare._

_"Why do you suddenly hate me so much?"_

_Anna just smiled sweetly._

_"Why you--"_

_"**Shhh!**" Jeanne hushed them. "You're missing the show."_

Konty sighed at something Ponty had just said (something the three women watching missed completely).

"Ah, what a beautiful day!" Tamao-chan chimed, laughing and smiling hugely.

Simultaneously, Ponty and Konty both knocked on the wooden table on which their chest board sat.

Tamao-chan frowned. "Why did you do that?"

"The last time you said something like that--" Ponty began.

"--A huge tornado came through and ripped half of the treehouse off. Ponty and I just finished repairing it a week ago," Konty finished, moving his pawn (AN: Besarki doesn't know how to play chess so this is all guesswork).

"Oh..." Tamao-chan mumbled. "So you mean, I can't say anything bad in a sense that it wouldn't happen because then it would inevitably happen and if it happened, it happening would happen to be bad, correct?"

Ponty and Konty exchanged confused glances.

"Did you understand a single word she just said?" Ponty asked.

Konty shook his head. "Not. A. Single. One."

Tamao-chan frowned frustratedly. "Let me give you an example: If I were to say, _At least nothing bad is happening today--_"

"BREAKING NEWS!!" The television screamed. "THE EVIL PEDERAST, LOLITA MAJIN IS TERRORIZING DOWNTOWN!"

Ponty and Konty growled at the magical girl.

"Yeah," Ponty snarled, "_that_ would happen."

**XXOMGMYBFFJILLXX**

"_MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!_" The evil dengenerate known as Lolita Majin, or, the evil pedobear, _RYU-SAN _laughed evilly. "Fear me, for I shall steal all your children and use them to power my super _de__ath_ ray of _death_! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Did I mention death?! BWA!"

"Not today, evil-doer!" A squeaky voice echoed from the distance.

Ryu-san whirled. "What squeaky-toy-sounding person _dares_ defy me?!"

"_I do!_" The spectacularly amazing and don't forget amazingly beautiful and just all around wonderful, KOKKURI ANGEL CUPID TAMAO-CHAN burst from around the corner!

Lolita Majin gasped. "Oh no! Not you!"

"Yes! It is I! Fear my powers of _love_ and _hearts_ and _pretty flowers_ and_ lollipops _and _bunny rabbits_ and _monkey's paws_ and _red fire hydrants_ and _school buses_ and _words ending in **j**_ and _caroling lumberjacks_ and--"

"OKAY, I got it. You're way powerful, BUT--" A humongous grin broke out across his face, "--NOT EVEN YOU CAN STOP ME NOW, NOW THAT I HAVE A NEW SECRET WEAPON!"

Grinning madly, the villainous Ryu-san ripped a shining microphone out from his coat pocket.

Tamao-chan gasped. "Oh no!"

Konty wailed, "It can't be!"

Ponty screamed, "Anything but that!"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That's right my overly cutesy opposers! I now wield the power of ridiculous teenaged popstars, and not even you can stop me now! MUHAHAHAHA! TURN UP THE JUICE! READY?!" Ryu-san held the microphone directly in front of his mouth, took a deep breath, and sang, "EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES! EVERYBODY HAS THOSE DAYS! AWW, YEAH! EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT, WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! EVERYBODY GETS THAT WAY! THAT'S RIGHT! EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES! UH HUH! EVERYBODY HAS THOSE DAYS! EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT, WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! EVERYBODY GETS THAT WAY! **YEAH!**"

"Noooooooooo!" Tamao-chan screamed, falling to her knees, and grasping desperately at her ears, though knowing full-well that it was all in vain as Lolita Majin's pompadour was gelled with a special new haircare which rendered Tamao-chan's abilities useless and intensified his evil powers by nine-thousand times the evil. In short, the evil Ryu-san was nothing short of invincible to this poor magical girl. "I CAN'T...FIGHT...THE MUSIC!" Unable to speak another word, she collapsed, screaming.

Ponty and Konty yowled in horrible agony, seconds away from keeling over, themselves.

"Where could Lolita Majin have possibly gained such terrific horrible power?!" They screamed in desperation, unaware of his new hair gel. Suddenly, and without any real reason, both Ponty and Konty burst into technicolor flames.

Grinning like a maniac, Ryu-san sang even louder, "IF I'M NOT DOING TOO WELL, WHY BE SO HARD ON MYSELF?! NOBODY'S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT! AGAIN AND AGAIN TILL I GET IT RIGHT! NOBODY'S PERFECT! YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN IT! AND IF I MESS IT UP SOMETIMES, NOBODY'S PERFECT!!!"

At the very moment that Ryu-san finished his song, the sky opened up and hundreds of flaming meteorites rained down from the sky, smashing into buildings and people alike.

Lolita Majin raised his great pompadour to the heavens and laughed oh-so-evilly. "CAN NO ONE STOP MY MIGHT?! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!"

The populace screamed, rushing for some kind of shelter, though more from the music than the meteorites. Heck, when you live in Japan and have good ol' Godzilla rampaging around your neighborhood every few days, meteorites are nothing. _Nothing._

"STOP!" A mighty voice rang out.

Lolita Majin turned to see an odd bare-chested man in a white overcoat, a bizarre mask, super short shorts, shiny blue boots, and a ridiculous cowboy hat staring back at him.

The crowd went immediately silent as they took in this sight. Abruptly, someone gasped, and loosed a great girly scream. "OH MY GOD! IT'S TUXEDO MASK!"

The man frowned, the straps of his mask flowing in the wind. "Um, no."

The pedestrian's face fell. "Oh...THEN WE'RE STILL DOOMED!" The screaming picked back up again almost instantaneously as the throngs of terrified city-goers fled from every direction.

Seeing the resurrected chaos, Lolita Majin's face lit right back up. "MUHAHAHAHA! You think you can stop me, puny man?" He demanded.

The masked man offered no answer. Instead, he merely pointed his gun straight at the evil pederast. He smiled and uttered a quiet, "Feel the power," and fired.

Lolita Majin screamed as he was impacted with a semi-magical-though-obviously-non-lethal-because-duh-this-is-a-kids-show bullet. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground, gripping the spot where the bullet pierced his strangely-pigmented skin. As he fell helpless to the ground, the creepy man raised his gun and fired a second bullet--into his _pompadour_, splitting it into two pieces for an unexplainable reason.

Ryu-san gasped as his beloved "do" was cleaved in half. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

The man chuckled once. "I'm oh-so-conveniently aware that your pompadour is your power center. I have disrupted it, and therefore your attack has been nullified." He smirked, a short laugh leaking through his dramatic display. "Ha. Damn, I'm awesome."

Tearing, Lolita Majin touched his hair. He paused when he came into contact with something...sticky? "What is...?"

"All my bullets are dipped in liquid kryptonite," His enemy explained.

"...What's that supposed to do?"

"Are you related to Superman?" The masked man asked with a smile.

"No."

"Then not a damn thing," He replied, his confident smile still in place.

Ryu-san stared at the man, unsure as to whether to be confused or just plain weirded out.

"Ohhhh, my aching head," The spectacular Tamao-chan groaned, awakening from her beauty sleep. She peered around curiously, glancing at all the destruction. "...What happened?"

Ryu-san gasped. "It can't be! You're alive?!"

"I am...? Oh, I mean, yes, yes I am! Cause I'm Kokkuri Angel Cupid TAMAO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAN! And Iiiii'm--OW! WHO THREW THAT MICROPHONE?!"

Ryu-san stood in front of her, whistling conspicuously.

"It was YOU!" Tamao-chan shrieked.

Ryu-san quickly shook his head. "No it wasn't! Look, my microphone is right here!" He said, pointing to his empty palm.

Tamao-chan's eyes widened. "You can turn your microphone invisible?!"

_"PBBBTHHHH!" Anna laughed. "And I thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber!"_

_Steam rolled out Tamao's ears._

_"Girls, it's 3:54. The show's almost over. Keep it together for five more minutes."  
_  
Ryu-san shook his fist. "You and your masked ally may have defeated me this time, Tamao-chan, but I swear, I'll be back! AND NEXT TIME, YOU WON'T BE SO LUCKY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" His laughter still echoing through the air, the villainous Lolita Majin suddenly disappeared in a rising cloud of grey smoke.

"Darn! He got away!" Tamao-chan pouted. She paused and her frown slipped into a deeper grimace. "Wait, my masked ally?" She asked, turning around. She suddenly screamed when she saw the masked cowboy-esque figure standing on the debris of one of the destroyed buildings.

The man tipped his hat slightly. "Until next time, Kokkuri Angel Cupid Tomato-chan."

The masked man struck a dramatic pose, then immediately turned around and fled the scene, leaving Tamao-chan standing there with her jaw dropped and her eyes full of tears.

"But...my name is Tamao-chan. I'm...I'm...KOKKURI ANGEL CUPID TAMAO-CHAAAAAAAAN!!!!!"

_STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE!_

"Or not," Anna said, clicking off the television.

"Didn't you like it, Anna?" Jeanne asked, chuckling.

"Are you serious? There were points where I had to fight to keep my eyes open," She lamented. "It held no logic, no plot, the characters had no depth. Jeanne, it was terrible."

Jeanne smiled. "Oh come now. It wasn't that bad."

Anna shot her a weird look. "I could literally feel my brain cells _dying_. Who the hell writes this crap? I mean, seriously, it was bad enough with just Tamao and her spirit-whore familiars, but then they brought in Marco McCreepy? _Un_necessary. Oh, and let me say that Ryu makes an awful villian."

"Truthfully, the first time I saw Ryu-san (AN: The actual Ryu, not the KACTC character), I thought he was a little on the...strange side."

"You also thought I was a demon incarnate."

"That's because you are, Anna," Tamao interjected.

"You know what, Tamao, just because you're a bitch doesn't mean everyone else has to be."

Tamao stared at her, incredulously. "Are you kidding me?! Look who's calling the kettle black!"

"Did something happen between you two?" Jeanne asked suspiciously. "I don't remember you two being at each other's throats like this before..."

Anna crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air. "I _really_ don't want to talk about it."

Tamao crossed her arms as well, though she didn't speak a word.

Jeanne glanced at both of them, then frowned. "Well...okay, but remember to be here next week, too. The guide on the television says that you're in the next episode, Anna."

Anna snorted. "Good, then we don't have to endure another episode of the _'Spectacular Tamao-chan!'_ Again, who writes this shit anyway?"

Jeanne checked the guide once more. "Huh. Doesn't say."

"I bet it's Tamao," Anna laughed. "I mean, who else would call Tamao_ spectacular_?" She snickered, almost _literally feeling_ the growing hatred rolling off her companion.

Tamao sneered. "I hope you get hit by a train."

Anna just winked, a wicked smile clear on her mischievous face.

* * *

Besarki: Ho ho, is this a plot bunny I see? Why yes, yes it is...okay, to be brutally honest, the commentary is just so much funnier if I can have Anna being a total bitch to Tamao. Back during the actual series, it was obvious that she tolerated Tamao, but didn't care for some of her antics. Now, someone (Probably Tamao, cause I really don't like her) has done something which has caused a rift AND ALLOWED BESARKI TO USE SOME AMUSING CONVERSATIONS! :D However, I _am_ claiming creative license, because Takei didn't really show Anna's personality in the future besides the fact that she hasn't changed all that much and it's perfectly laudable to believe that she may act like this if she's mad. Keep in mind that she _does_ pull the bitch card on more than one occasion. ^-^ Now, see, I have met only see one person who doesn't like Anna, but an assload who hate Tamao (I being one of them. She's just a useless character, even though she's more "human" personality-wise than most of them. If I wanted _human_, I wouldn't be reading SHAMAN KING! DUH!) And so, no one minds some relentless Tamao-bashing via Anna, do they? :D

"PBBBTHHHH!" is the sound you make when you laugh through closed lips, in case you'd never seen that one before. Most of you probably have, but I figured I might as well put this here anyway.

Also, Anna provided me with an interesting idea. Would you eventually like to have each of them write an episode? That has the possibility to be hilarious. XD

Did you like the new divider? Since this is a crack fic, I figured it ought to have cracky dividers. Next chapter, I'm using **XXLOLWHUTXX** XD

**Tuxedo Mask:** I'm pretty sure that's the guy from Sailor Moon. I've seen virtually four episodes of that show, so yeah, don't know much about it.

**Superman: **I'm not really sure why I put this in. Even I thought it seemed stupid. Meh, makes Marco look like a moron so maybe it's beneficial after all.

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the aforementioned characters, or any that I missed or chose not to mention. There will be no OCs in this story. All characters belong to their respective owners. Same goes for Ryu's music.**

**Kokkuri Angels: Cast of Characters (First Appearance in Parentheses):**** Tamao-chan (Episode 1), Ponty and Konty (Episode 1), Lolita Majin/Ryu-san (Episode 1), Masked Megane-sama/Marco-sama (Episode 1), Anna-san (Episode 2), Mae and Ushiro (Episode 2), Jeanne-sama (Episode 3), Coshamash (Episode 3), Yoh-kun (Episode 5, 6, or 7), Others to be decided.**

That's the current plan. To be updated later. Virtually anyone can appear in The Leopard's Meow, which has nothing to do with Kokkuri Angels so honorifics may be used from time to time. Speaking of which, here's _The Leopard's Meow_. I'm not really happy with this one at all. To be honest, I had to write four completely different stories out (one of which in full) before I finally ended up with one that was at least presentable. My first one was with Chocolove and Ren, the second was Chocolove and Hana, and then I just gave up and went back to Chocolove and Horohoro. Blah. What can you do? Maybe I'll fix them up and use them later...

* * *

**The Leopard's Meow: Chapter 2: The Hole Just Gets Deeper and Deeper**

Horohoro sighed. One would think that a guy would come to realize that his jokes sucked when he had to glue his audience's butt to the chair in order to listen to him. One would also think that Horohoro's luck would have been a little better by now. But alas, some things never change.

"Okay, okay," Chocolove grinned. "So I was watching TV last night and I heard some _really_ good ones! You're gonna love these! Hang on, I wrote them down," He said, reaching into his bag for his notepad. "Oh, and don't even think about running away this time!"

From his captive position, Horohoro growled, "Not a problem."

After a moment, the jokester located his notepad and yanked it out of his bag. "AH HA!" He exclaimed. His eyes ran over it, and then he immediately shoved it back into his bag. "Okay, here goes!"

The American rattled off about three jokes that earned nothing but glares and facepalms from his audience. However, unlike last time, right from the get-go, it was painfully obvious Chocolove had a theme today. Though, given his current location, it might not have been the best theme to run with...

"No? Don't like that one? How about this: "What do you call a blonde with a half a brain? Gifted! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Horohoro sighed. "Kororo," He summoned. A moment later, Kororo materialized on his shoulder.

"Kuru?" The tiny nature spirit once known as Damuko squeaked.

"Sorry for dragging you out here. Chocolove's jokes are just too painful to endure alone."

"Kkuru!" She agreed with a smile.

"A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, _"Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"_  
The operator said, _"Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"_  
The blonde answered, _"Duh, in that big red truck!" _Get it? He was actually asking for directions and, and s-she said, wahahahaha!"

_Does he really think these are funny?_

As if to answer his question, Chocolove loosed two more really bad blonde jokes and then some random one about electrons or something.

Horohoro was beginning to wonder if he should ask Yoh for lessons on sleeping with one's eyes open, or maybe that filter technique that turns everything that doesn't have to do with important shaman stuff, his family, or oranges into the quiet drone of background noise. Yeah, that'd be nice.

"Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, _"Those must be deer tracks!"_  
The second blonde said, _"No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!_"  
The third blonde said, _"No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!'_" They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them."

_I can't believe this idiot is actually amused by these! I mean, for crying out loud, they're all just...oh god._

"What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go? ...A blonde at a flashing red light!

Suddenly, both Horohoro's and Kororo's eyes grew wide and horrified. Chocolove mistook their expressions for interest.

_Well, it's about time!_ "A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. _"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."  
"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"_"

Horohoro and Kororo rapidly waved their arms back in forth in a desperate struggle for him to stop. He didn't.

"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells_ "Eagle!"_ She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out _"Salmon!"_ She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.  
_"Crap!"_"

Horohoro was now making a multitude of hand gestures begging Chocolove to cease. For the second time, he didn't get it.

A blonde's redhead friend decides to show her a neat way to trick people -- you put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away!  
_"That is a neat trick,"_ Thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend.  
_"Okay,"_ she says, _"I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..." _" He finished, his joke and burst into loud guffaws, unfortunately, seconds after he finished said joke, he felt a soft jabbing at his back. Confused, he casually turned his entire body around...

To find a very angry looking Anna, her long _blond_ hair hanging loosely around her face...


	3. What Doesn't Kill You, Will Next Time

Besarki: My roommate is sitting behind me singing. My ears are bleeding. TT_TT

Not much to say here. Kinda a crappy way to bring Anna in, but what the hell. I'm still not sure how I'm going to write her in this story. Probably mostly pacifistic but doesn't give a shit about anything Tamao has to say. I don't know if I'll eventually write her differently. We'll see.

~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Mandy's gonna _take_ your pants off!"  
"Beat your pants off."  
"_Beat _your pants off!"

~Billy and Grim, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy  
**(**Rather than use this section for songs relating to the chapter like I usually do, in Kokkuri Angels, I'm going to fill this spot with amusing quotes or funny songs**)**

* * *

**Kokkuri Angels: Episode 2**

"EAT IT!"

"NEVER!"

"EAT! IT!"

"NOOOOOO!"

"JUST EAT THE DAMN SANDWICH, PONTY!"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN _LOOK_ LIKE A SANDWICH, KONTY!"

"SO WHAT?! JUST EAT IT!"

"NEVERRRRRRRR!"

"What are you two sillies doing?" Tamao-chan asked, walking into the room.

Both Ponty and Konty turned to stare at her, then turned back to each other. An evil smile appeared on both of their faces.

"Hey, Tamao-chan...C'MERE!"

"EEK!"

***********************************************  
Episode 2: What Doesn't Kill You, Probably Will Next Time  
***********************************************

"I like onion," Tamao-chan announced quietly, peering deeply into her manila folder of a menu.

"On pizza?" Ponty returned in disbelief, slapping his menu down on the table.

Tamao-chan tilted her head. "Why not, Ponty?"

"Because that's totally and completely nasty," Konty answered for his friend.

"Shit nasty!" Chimed in Ponty. Konty threw him a weird look then turned out to stare out around the small diner. Miscellaneous decorations littered the entirety of the restaurant, as did about a dozen or so moose, for whatever reason.

Tamao-chan frowned. "I think it's good. You should try it."

"If we did that then our breath would stink as bad as yours."

"Hey!"

"Excuse me..." An elderly waiter wearing a black tuxedo and sporting a small black mustache as well as a pin-on nametag with the name, _"Alfred" _written on it interrupted the trio's bickering as he placed a small black folder on the table.

For a moment, no one said anything, and then Tamao-chan broke the silence.

"What's this?" She asked, peering at the mysterious folder.

The waiter cleared his throat. "Tis a letter from the dark-haired gentleman over there."

Tamao-chan glanced at the other customers in the restaurant. All but one of them had dark hair, and the one who didn't, didn't exactly fit the "gentleman" description.

"You might as well open it," Konty suggested.

Tamao-chan stared at the dark folder in her hands. "But what if it blows up on me?"

Ponty shrugged. "It's only you."

Tamao-chan puffed up her cheeks, her eyes slanting in fury. Ponty just shrugged. His former masters had always told him not to lie

"Not to mention the fact that you're like, an angel or something, supposedly. So, theoretically, shouldn't you be...I dunno, _immortal _or something?"

Tamao-chan immediately stood up. "I'm _immortal?!_" In that instant, a silver can collided with the magical girl's head.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE?!" Someone screamed from across the diner.

The pink-haired girl dropped back down into the booth, her face bright red and her head down in embarrassment. "Sorry," She whispered under her breath.

"Way to go, idiot," Ponty half whispered, half hissed.

"I said I was sorry!" Tamao-chan yelled back at him. Another can came out of nowhere and slammed into her.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO--"

Tamao-chan clamped her hands over her ears to drown out the horrifying screech of the screamer's voice. She didn't like loud noises.

Or people who spoke like demons.

To try to distract herself from the screaming demon that kept assaulting her with its voice, Tamao-chan reached forward and picked up the black folder. Slowly, she opened it.

_YOU DIE AT MIDNIGHT!_

"EEEEEK!" Tamao-chan screamed. A moment later, someone's hard _shoe_ impacted the magical girl's head.

Tamao-chan instantly shot up from her chair. Enough was enough.

"OKAY! Whoever it is who has this big problem with me, please stand up now!"

Nearly the entire restaurant rose to their feet. Tamao-chan's defiant expression dropped like a wilted flower.

"Shoulda seen that one coming," Konty snorted, flipping the page in his menu.

Tamao-chan pouted. This was so not fair.

"I'm a _superhero!_ I save your lives and everybody _hates me?!_"

"Sounds about right," Answered the one person who hadn't risen to her feet.

Tamao-chan stared at the speaker, who went on ignoring her, flipping through her magazine with little interest in what went on around her.

The girl was young, only slightly older than Tamao-chan herself. However, while the age difference might not have been that large, it was definitely noticeable as the girl was very clearly older, though whether the huge age difference was physical or mental was another question. In contrast to Tamao-chan's attire, the quiet girl's outfit was a deep purple and she had a flower of identical color woven into her dark blond hair.

Different, yet exactly the same.

Had Tamao-chan stumbled upon another magical girl? Could such a feat be reality? Could it be possible?

Could Tamao-chan be any more corny?

After a moment of hesitation, Tamao-chan began to ask, "Are you--" only to have the other girl cut her off.

"Yes," The girl answered. "I'm as magic as you are." She flipped the page in her book. "Though my magic makes yours look like a parlor trick."

Tamao-chan's jaw dropped. Of all the nerve! "I just met you and you're already being rude!"

The girl wasn't bothered. In fact, she seemed only vaguely aware that it was a person she was conversing with and not an intelligent monkey or something. Then again, with this genius, there probably wasn't much of a difference. "No, I'm being honest. Miss Hell always told me not to lie."

Tamao-chan's angry face suddenly went entirely white. She must have misheard. This couldn't possibly be a pupil of... "Miss...who?"

The girl shot her an irritated look. "What, you need me to spell it for you?"

The pink-haired girl waved her hands rapidly in front of her. "Nonono. It's fine, you don't have to."

"H-E-L--"

"I SAID YOU DON'T HAVE TO SPELL IT!"

"-P-M-E. I-A-M-B-E-I-N-G-A-S-S-U-L-T-E-D-B-Y-A-F-R-E-A-K-W-I-T-H-P-I-N-K-H-A-I-R."

"...?"

"What did she just spell?" Ponty whispered.

Konty shrugged. "I dunno, but I definitely heard _ass_ in there somewhere."

"I caught the first word and the last few. Help and pink hair."

"Help, my ass has pink hair? That's a strange thing to tell a stranger."

"Maybe that's not what she was spelling."

"Then what?"

"Uh, I don't know. Help me, my ass, and my pink hair?"

"That doesn't even mildly make sense."

"I'm just throwing out ideas here, Konty!"

"Yeah, but they're all stupid, Ponty! Like _you!_"

"Oh, so now we're resorting to name-calling? Well, let's see how you like this, _momma's boy!_"

"GASP! How _dare_ you! Eat _fork_, evil-doer!"

"RAH!"

"GRR!"

"Are they always like this?" The dark magical girl asked.

Tamao-chan sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."

"Wow, I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Hum...I have an idea." The magical girl lifted her hand and twirled her finger. "Mae. Ushiro." Both of Tamao-chan's familiars turned upon hearing two bizarre words spoken by the scary girl. Their eyes widened.

Two swirling purple clouds appeared on either side of her, fitting violently and gradually spinning faster and faster until they exploded and two demons took their place.

"Get rid of the insects."

Mae and Ushiro exchanged glances with their master and then with each other. Evil grins took hold on their faces. The two readied there weapons and then burst forward, instigating a chase after the two now screaming animal-spirits.

Tamao-chan stared in disbelief and the girl who had returned to reading her magazine. If she'd had any doubt that she was hell-trained it was gone now.

In an almost muted voice, Tamao-chan asked, "Who are you?"

There was a momentary pause before the girl stopped and put her book down. A quiet sigh escaped her.

"I'm your worst nightmare dipped in a vat of bitter chocolate and then handed a flamethrower that I don't know how to use all the while chanting curses which will haunt you all the way to your next life and probably cause you to smash your head against the wall a few times which is fine because you're probably a dumbass anyway not that that has anything to do with chocolate or mushrooms which I am in relation to via their poisonous bits like the venom of a snake all the way from the fifth circle of _hell_...but most people just call me Anna-san."

Anna-san, the magical girl who was literally from hell, stared at Tamao-chan boredly for a moment before going back to her reading like she wasn't there.

Not that that stopped Tamao-chan from voicing her shock and disbelief. "_You're _Anna-san?! Miss Hell's _star pupil?!_"

Anna-san snorted. "Would I have demons as familiars if I wasn't?"

"Uh...um..."

"That's what I thought." She snickered. "Well, I suppose it's time for the three of us to head out. Oh-Crap Oni has been pretty quiet for the past few days, but he should be acting up any day now so the three of us ought to be ready for him."

"OH-CRAP ONI?!" Tamao-chan's eyes bulged. "YOU FIGHT OH-CRAP ONI?!"

"No, that sleezy kid down the street does. Duh, I do! Why would I have said it if I didn't, numbskull?" She rolled her eyes, slapping a handful of cash down on the table.

"Oh...I didn't...I mean, I...oh." Tamao-chan stared at her feet, and for a moment Anna-san felt a little bad.

"Do you want to come _with us_...pinkie?"

"Tamao-chan!" The magical girl introduced. "And yes! We should join forces!"

"Who said anything about joining forces?"

"Don't be silly! Come on!" Tamao-chan rushed up to her and grabbed her arm, proceeding to drag her out of the diner. "I'm sensing the beginning of super dooper pooper scooper partnership!"

Anna-san gasped in horror as she was forcibly heaved outside.

Beyond them, the four familiars sat next to eat other on one of the empty tables.

"Do you think she knows that we never actually ate?" Ponty asked.

Konty sighed. "Probably not. Jeez, now we're going to be starving all day," He whined.

Ponty groaned. "I suppose worse things have happened."

Konty couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Yeah, like us getting partnered with an airhead."

His friend laughed. "Aww, yeah! Hitting the nail on the head, Konty!"

"Hehehe. I do my best, Ponty!"

Squabbling like old women, Ponty and Konty padded out the front door, leaving two demons sitting by themselves behind them.

The two shikigami exchanged a "Meep," and a "Roo," before bouncing off the table and sailing through the open door.

Just as the six departed from the small diner, a cursing Ryu-san emerged from the bathroom, desperately praying that he hadn't missed his arch nemesis' reaction in the moment which would surely be his crowning glory.

His eyes zipped to their table and his jaw dropped when he discovered them gone. Had he missed the fantastic moment where his infuriating foe and her pain-in-the-ass familiars had disintegrated into the atmosphere in a ball of flaming _victory?!_

"Sir, your _pants_ are on backwards," Tamao-chan's former waiter informed him.

Ryu-san immediately grabbed the instantly startled waiter by the collar. "Tamao-chan! The infuriating nuisance with the bubble gum pink hair and those two absolutely _vile_ creatures that follow her around! Tamao-chan! Tell me, was her glorious demise as grand as I had planned it to be? Was she vaporized in a wondrous instance of shimmering smoke? Has my retribution finally been achieved?!?!"

"Tamao-chan, sir?" The waiter asked, collected once more.

"The _pest,_" Ryu-san hissed insanely, pointing to Tamao-chan's table, "that sat over there!"

Understanding dawned upon the balding man's face. "Ah, yes. The young lady with the extravagant clothing."

"YES!" Ryu-san shouted, excitement overtaking him. "Her end! Her leave! Was it magnificent?!"

The waiter frowned. "I don't believe so. She merely walked out the door like anyone else would. Very casual. That other young lady with the two demon creatures accompanied her."

Ryu-san gasped, dropping poor Alfred. A look of utter horror crossed his face. "THERE'S _ANOTHER _ONE?!"

Alfred dusted himself off. "Yes, sir."

Ryu-san swore under his breath. "THAT must be how that brat escaped. The second magical girl must have pushed Tamao-chan out of the way in time to miss the lightning bolt!"

"Lightning bolt, sir?"

Ryu-san threw him the strangest look. "She...she activated the trap, didn't she?" His voice became desperate. "DIDN'T SHE?!"

Alfred rose to his feet. "I do not recall seeing anything even vaguely resembling a trap, sir."

"The paper," Ryu-san gasped. "Did she flip the paper?"

"The one with the death threat on it?"

"YES! TELL ME SHE FLIPPED IT OVER!"

The waiter frowned. "I can't imagine why she would do such a thing, sir."

"I WROTE _"Flip"_ ON THE BOTTOM OF IT!" He ran to the table, opened the book and then flipped the paper. "LOOK!" He shrieked.

A moment later, lightning rained down from the ceiling and struck him. He collapsed in a smoking heap, despite the fact that it should have kill him. Hey, this is a kid's show! People don't just _die _here! That's totally not allowed!

Footsteps echoed through the now quiet establishment. They ceased when the elderly waiter paused directly in front of the smoking supervillian.

Alfred chuckled quietly. "Pity. That always does seem to happen, doesn't it?"

"Shut up, old man."

_STAY TUNED FOR SCENES FROM THE NEXT EPISODE!_

For the longest moment, nobody spoke.

But of course, a child's attention span doesn't have the longevity required to maintain a prolonged quiet and it was only so long before Hana broke the silence.

"I don't think the creators of this show like Tamao very much," The little boy said from his place on his mother's lap.

Anna smiled lightly and hugged him to her as if he were a prized teddy bear.

"I still can't get over Oh-Crap Oni," Anna mused.

Hana peered up at her. "Why is that funny."

She snickered, combing a hand through his hair.

"Someday, Hana. Someday."

On the far right, Jeanne rolled her eyes while Men reached toward the TV.

"Daa!" He squeaked, holding his stubby little baby fingers out to the screen. He'd been doing this since the lightning flashed. She was still trying to convince him that not all lightning was linked with his father.

"That's not him, Men," She whispered into his little ear.

He growled and tried harder, smacking her in the face when she wouldn't let him go.

Hana laughed hysterically at the act.

"Hana!" Anna scolded him quietly.

He shrank down. "Sorry, Kaa-san."

She let out a short breath and let her eyes trail the room, allowing them to roam across everything within it...

And fall on Tamao, sitting all alone in the middle.

She sighed. _Pick now of all times to grow a heart._

_True to form, rotten luck. True to form._

"Hana," Anna whispered. The little blond boy glanced up at her. "Go bug Tamao for a little while. I have to go cook dinner."

"Really?" He asked, not really believing what she was asking.

"Yeah, drive her nuts and make her never want to have kids." She winked.

Hana grinned. Like he was gong to pass up his mother was telling him to be _bad_. "Okay!"

Immediately, Hana jumped off her lap and ran over to Tamao, tackling her as Anna rose and departed the room.

As she rounded the corner, she saw someone she wasn't expecting. She fought the smile, but it appeared anyway.

"Yoh," She greeted.

He grinned. "Going soft?"

Anna leaned forward and kissed him lightly, before backing away and shooting him a strong smirk.

"Not on your life," She promised, flicking his nose, and walking past him.

Yoh laughed and shook his head, his eyes glued to her retreating figure as she disappeared down the corridor.

* * *

Besarki: Crappy commentary for a crappy chapter. Sigh. I hope it at least struck you as kind of cute since it wasn't funny. I hate writing past midnight.

I seem to break the fourth wall left and right in this story. Hmm, that makes me think that I should make a personal challenge out of that. I should make a chapter to see how many times I can break it.

I don't know how to say Mom/Dad in Chinese so I just wrote that thing with Men in English. If it irks anyone, give me a translation and I'll change it.

Blah. I have a oneshot called _Morning Sun_ which features Hana and Anna about half done so look for that this week. Also, the next Living For Tomorrow chapter is started and about a quarter done. Dunno when that'll be done. Probably early March. I really need to finish Time: Redux Chapter 1, too, but it's incredibly difficult. TT^TT Not even touching Fire in the Sky right now so if you're looking for news on that one, sorry.

Also, and I'll say this in LFT and Morning Sun, as well, but I updated my hidden photobucket album with the Shaman Files from volumes 19, 22, and 23. So, that means that it now contains files from 15, 16, 19, 22, 23, and Mentalite. Have no idea what I'm talking about? Then you obviously didn't read LFTM! Anyway, my hidden photobucket album (not the one on my profile) is where I put up various materials from my KZBs as well as some other misc crap. You want the link and password? You have to ask me. Don't think you can be a total stranger. You have to have either reviewed a few times and come off to me as trustworthy (you can't post the files ANYWHERE. If they leave my photobucket account, you're dead. I know who has the password) or conversed with me through PMs. So, yeah. Those who already have the password and account name, go crazy. Those who don't and want it, ask nicely. :)

Cameos:  
**The Waiter:** Tamao-chan's waiter was Batman's butler, Alfred Pennyworth.  
**The Black Spot:** The Black Spot signifies death in the book _Treasure Island_. It is also used in the animated adaption, _Treasure Planet._

Urg...I am so damn tired...and I still have to finish The Leopard's Meow? Groan...

Didn't really have anything to write about for The Leopard's Meow this chapter, but I didn't want to start skipping chapters with it yet so here's a craptastic, pulled out of my ass short.

* * *

**The Leopard's Meow: Are You Smarter Than An Elementary Schooler?**

"Hello, hello! Ladies and gentlemen, young and old, I'm your host Marco Saint Marco here welcoming you to today's episode of..."

**_"ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A ELEMENTARY SCHOOLER?!"_**

"Ah ha haha. That's right. Let's meet today's contestant, shall we?" The host turned to his right, and extended an arm. "All the way from New York City, it's Chocolove McDonnell!"

The red curtain pulled back revealing a waving Chocolove. "Hi everyone, I'm--"

"And now let's see his opponent!" Marco Saint Marco yowled, cutting him off.

The blue curtain to his left opened, revealing none other than Hao's most loyal subject, Opacho!

"Is that--" Chocolove began to ask, only to have the host cut him off once again.

"All right, ladies and gentlemen, are you all ready to beginnnnnn?"  
**  
"YEAH!"** The crowd roared.

"ALL RIGHT! LET'S GET ON WITH THE SHOW!" He whipped out a small index card. "First question: Who was the youngest member of Hao's team, Hoshigumi?"

Looking confident with a big smile on his face, Chocolove opened his mouth to answer.

"Opacho."

Chocolove's expression dropped, and his head whipped to the doe-eyed opponent who had just beaten him to the punch.

"That's rrrrrrrrrrright!" Marco Saint Marco crowed, dancing around and doing a split for reasons unknown. He whipped out a second index card. Chocolove braced himself, he was gonna get this one. "What's a six letter word beginning and ending with the same letter?"

"Opacho,"

"CORRRRRRRRRRRECT!" Steam poured out of Chocolove's ears. "Next! Who uses her hair as a medium for her oversoul?"

"Opacho."

"YESSIRE!

"Who was originally named Ohachiyo?"

"Opacho."

"THAT'S RIGHT!"

Meanwhile, Chocolove was absolutely seething with rage. He was going to get this next one

"Who was mistakenly written as a boy in the English dub?"

**_DING DING DING!_**

"Oh ho ho! You all know what that means!"

**"A FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!"** The audience screamed.

"Thaaaaaaaaaaat's right! Which means it's time for our lightning round!"

"What the hell does breaking a fourth wall have to do with lightning rounds?" Chocolove demanded while Opacho sat there looking like a braindead sheep.

"Ah ha ha ha. You ask too many questions," Marco Saint Marco bizarrely laughed, chucking his shoe at the unsuspecting shaman's head. "Anyway, you both have dry erase boards in front of you. Please neatly write down what you believe to be answer to my previously asked question! If you don't remember it, then that sucks for you cause I'm not repeating it!"

Growling, Chocolove picked up the board. How the hell was he supposed to know the answer to this? The question didn't even make sense. Still, if the current trend held...

"Alright, show us your answers!"

Both flipped around their boards. Chocolove's displayed the name, "OPACHO" all in caps. Opacho's board displayed what might have been a horse, though was probably a couch or something.

"The answer is: OPACHO! Two points to the ugly kid!"

"HEY!"

**_REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_**

"Well, how about that! It's time for the Super Round where every question is worth three points!

Chocolove grinned. Now that he knew how the game went, he was gonna win.

"Besides Anna and Hao, who has been the only other shaman _you_ know to have displayed some form of reishi?"

"OPACHO!" Chocolove shouted.

"CORRECT!" He drew a new question. "Who follows Hao around everywhere he goes, whether it be the shaman fight or the bathroom?"

"OPACHO!"

"DING DING DING! Who's acting the most out of character on this gameshow besides me and the ugly kid?"

"OPACHO! AND I'M NOT UGLY!"

"RIGHT AND WRONG! Who read the officiants heart during the Shaman Fight?"

"OPACHO!"

"Who was the leader of Team Funbari Onsen?"

"OPACHO!" Chocolove screamed.  
**_  
BRRRRRRRRRR_**

The host cringed at the buzzer. "Oooo, I'm sorry. The answer was actually _Yoh_. That incorrect answer is going to cost you five million points."

"WHAT?!"

**_!  
_  
**"Oh, hoho! It looks like we're out of time! Everybody give a big hand to our contestants!"

Everyone in attendance clapped and threw rubber hands onto the stage. Chocolove cringed while Opacho retained her doe-eyed stare.

"Alright, alright! Now it's time to present the winner with her prize!" The crowd began to cheer as a giant golden bulb lowered from the ceiling.

The suspense became too much for some of the people and they cheered louder, causing the ball to lower faster.

"Don't drop the ball!" Chocolove urged, jokingly.

The ball stopped and the crowd went silent. He glanced around. "What?"

Someone in the audience threw a lone tomato at the failed comedian. "YOU SUCK!"

Chocolove seethed. "You know what, screw this. I'm going to go raid the Asakura's fridge."

Totally ignoring him, the ball began to lower once more and the crowd erupted in excited shrieks.

Growling, he made his way off-stage. He needed to find Horohoro or Ren. At least those two would listen to him. And Tamao was good for listening to jokes! And Pirika! Grinning like a mad dog, he quickened his pace, headed for the for person with an open ear.

As Chocolove departed beyond the curtains, he heard the crowd cheering as Opacho was awarded her bag of award-winning dog food.

* * *

Besarki: OOC FTW! Blech. We're going to pretend I didn't write that monstrosity. Next time I don't have an idea, I just won't write anything. Ick.

Ugh...oh yeah, before I go, I wanted to urge you guys to go read Nyalowlo625's Avatar fic. She was my first friend on this site and we've been buds since I was 15 and she was 13 (all the way back when I wrote Teen Titans fics. Sheesh. Blast from the past). Anyway, it's her first story and it kicks ass. She's already got a bunch of reviews, but it's seriously fantastic. GO READ IT! DO IT! DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE AVATAR! DO IT BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER NAME! JUST DO IT!

It is now 3:45. Bed time now? Please? *Runs away crying*


End file.
